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Universaldrucker

Die letzte große Erfindung ist nah

Genau so müssen die ganz großen Erfindungen gemacht worden sein: Aus der Not des Alltags heraus. Das elektrische Licht wurde erfunden, weil es nachts dunkel wurde, Ampeln, weil sie das zunehmende Verkehrschaos ordneten und Fastfood weil wir uns keine Zeit mehr zum Essen gönnen. Nichts von alle dem wurde erfunden, um des Erfindens Willen, sondern weil die Menschheit von Problemen gepeinigt Auswege aus ihrem Dilemma suchte.

Eine der letzten großen Erfindungen dürfte meiner Ansicht nach der Universaldrucker sein, den wir alle – ausnahmslos – in wenigen Jahren in unseren Haushalten stehen haben werden. Nicht wundern, wenn Ihr den Universaldrucker noch nicht kennt. Könnt Ihr ja nicht, weil der ist ja noch nicht erfunden. Aber das wird – wie gesagt – nicht mehr lange auf sich warten lassen.

Der Universaldrucker wird viele unserer Alltagsprobleme lösen. Z.B. solche: Als ich kürzlich beim Optiker eine neue Lesebrille machen lassen wollte, hatte ich die Auswahl aus 16 verschiedenen Brillenmodellen. Alle identischer Form. Sie unterschieden sich nur in ihren Farben. Andere Modelle habe man nicht, erklärte man mir, denn reine Lesebrillen seien nicht mehr so gefragt. Meine Enttäuschung ob des vergeblichen Aufwands wird mich in naher Zukunft nicht mehr jucken, denn dann muss ich mir solche Binsenweißheiten nicht mehr anhören, sondern ich drucke mir die Brille daheim am Universaldrucker einfach aus.

Aber der Universaldrucker wird nicht nur Brillen drucken können, sondern auch allerhand Dinge, deren Beschaffung uns bisweilen trotz des Segens des Internets schwer fällt, z.B. frei skalierbare Repliken aus der Schaffenswelt von Alberto Giacometti (trotz der damit verbundenen Herausforderung in Sachen Statik und Stabilität), fehlende Puzzleteile (mit automatischer Form- und Motiverkennung), orthopädische und medizinische Hilfs- und Ersatzmittel (vom Hammer-/Amboss-/Steigbügelset bis hin zum schwer belastbaren Hüftgelenk), über possierliche Nachbildungen von Kleinnagern, (die zuvor vielleicht beim Staubsaugen abhanden gekommen sind),  bis hin zu Perserteppichen (in nahezu frei wählbaren Knotendichten und Ornamentstrukturen). Es wird wunderbar sein, einen Universaldrucker zu besitzen.

Die herausragendste Funktion wird aber ganz sicher die sein, dass der Universaldrucker auch Käse, Wurstwaren, Gebäck und vieles mehr, ausdrucken werden kann. Wonach uns auch immer sein wird, worauf auch immer wir Appetit haben werden – wir drucken es uns aus: Pizza, Ratatouille, Züricher Geschnetzeltes, eine Gans mit Rotkohl und Klößen? Alles kein Problem. Just print it! Selbstverständlich sind alle Speisen auch kalorienreduziert druckbar (Eco-Modus “Schnellausdruck”), so dass auch die Personenwaagen in unseren Haushalten unsere Freunde bleiben.

Das wird eine unglaubliche Bereicherung für die Menschheit sein, wenn er endlich da ist, der Universaldrucker: Fehlt etwas im Haus – druck’s Dir einfach aus. Schönes für die Frau und für das Kind – drücke einfach schnell auf “Print”. Nicht auszudenken, wie groß die Freude sein wird, am vergessenen Hochzeitstag noch fix einen Strauß Wildrosen oder – bei Bedarf – nachts um halb drei eine Flasche Rohrrein ausdrucken zu können. Weg sind unsere Alltagsprobleme. Ob Brille, Teppich oder Leckerei – alles wird möglich sein. Vergessen ist die Zeit des “Analogkäse” – Digitalkäse setzt die Maßstäbe. Und wer hier in die Maßlosigkeit verfallen mag, der kann sich dann ja immer noch eine neue Waage ausdrucken.

Auf zur letzten großen Erfindung, schöne neue Welt!

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